Framed !

A friend, (i havent even seen her, bt once) barely recognizable the next time around, and who calls me 'acs' ...a very mature, very innocent and very true lady, sent me this gift, granting me a 'well deserved happiness'. She once termed it as a 'dedication to the guy who taught her to be good'.

This is what she had said in her email:

hi acs,
sorry i kept it with me a wee bit too long...i was under the impression that u did save it from orkut n then "ahemm" "frame it...that still sounds a bit over the top...still no blockin any of ur dreams acs...dream on...n thanku for the "constructive argument" again...
as for dedicatin to ppl i fight with ...no it is not a style...or even a secret plan at world domination or anything...he he he...well...just that ppl who fight with me make me see things from a different perspective ....n if the perspective is gud enf ,i take it...so i owe them their time...n their ideas into the making of "me" .so as i become a better human being ...in some way...i owe them 'a debt'....n i pay it by makin them "happy" ,a well deserved happiness don't u think? wel...so much for that...he he he...have a gr8 time...

I really do not know if she owes me the so called 'well deserved happiness', for i am not sure what i made her accept through the constructive arguments. But then I should repeat that i am indeed glad that i got a well deserved happines.

Thanx ms gg. Ive framed it as it is wat it rightly deserves ! Amen !

Onam

I was doin a sort of spring cleaning of my room and my table when i found a old sheet of paper, all torn and with something barely legible scribbled on it. The date on one end read 2nd August 2007. Wth much difficulty i started to read hat it was and understood hat it was an Ode to Mr. Maveli. In another fortnight we had celerated Onam, but i never posted ths anywhere. Lest you be mistaken, this is not a try at creating a poetic magnum opus. Just a few sentences dat i could muster up in my pathetic style. Read on...

Fill our hearts with pride and brotherhood abound,

for in days to see, before another fortnight that pass aroud,

away from a world somewere that none has seen or felt so far,

would he come, our king, spreading warmth as he did in history afar.

The spirit still is felt and never will fade in hearts of toddlers to th ages so old,

with charm, Onam we all call this fest, awaiting a year, braving all hot and all cold,

for always we know he would come again to see us merry, from th youngest to the old,

though to see them prosper, he gave up all and travelled to the netherworld.

Oh soverign! for thou the cours bloom in different flowers around,

amidst dainty damsls clapping aloud, dance the blithe flames on lamps aplenty

happiness that thy seek spreads from door to door like an exotic posy,

from dawn to dusk even the ants and elephants dance gleeful and merry.

A Question on Love

Oh God,is love not the truth of everything? Is true love, in all meanings interpreted, the pinnacle of all specific emotions, pertaining to what is or was achieved? Does it not have both metaphysical as well as very empirical definitions which those who search for would find totally in congruence?

Am I also in search for the definition of love? Love between two individuals - a lady and a man? Is it by all means necessary, that both of them should be from a totally different environment? Can two, living under the same roof not be in love? Can someone who has lived with each other for a couple of decades be in love with each other? Does love have only one meaning? One definite reason that is being purely sensual? Is what you feel towards your sibling based on such a perception? So if you love your sibling, is it blasphemy of human existence? Is it profanity of natural laws? Is it not divinity personified? Then why, have i never seen people love so, with utter ease? Why have I not seen such an expression for the past years of life? Why never at the least a literary manifestation which has embalmed in itself, such a truth? Are these doubts representing a death of sanity in my soul?

Why do I love my sister much more than I love myself? Why do I think of her more than I do of others in my life? Is it a try of my psyche to balance her with whom I lost? Why do I not find in her, faults or defects similar to those many speak about their siblings? Why am I so very blind and dumb and deaf when thinking about her? Why is it that I know I can confide in her, my most obscene of my secrets without any fear of rebuke? Why is it that I know that I wouldn’t feel bad, nor hungry, nor desirous of her feminity, just because she is a woman? Why do I know that she also feels the same in return? Why do I know that she feels safe within my grasp?

And god answered: “That is love. Not just love, but Divine love.

Hear this, for the beauty of a day lies on the decision you take, your willingness to forgive those who offend you, your desire to tolerate one another and giving peace a chance, and your ability to hold back your anger even when it is imperative to burst out. Those who seek peace will find harmony; those who seek wealth will find riches; but those who seek Love will find everything. So choose right. For on the canvas of eternity, I draw with the colour of love”.

Ode to a Woman

Woman, I can hardly express,
My mixed emotion at my thoughtlessness,
After all I'm forever in your debt,
And woman I will try to express,
My inner feelings and thankfullness,
For showing me the meaning of succsess,

Woman I know you understand
The little child inside the man,
Please remember my life is in your hands,
And woman hold me close to your heart,
However, distant don't keep us apart,
After all it is written in the stars

Woman please let me explain,
I never meant to cause you sorrow or pain,
So let me tell you again and again and again,
I love you now and forever

And I will love you forever and ever.

Guilt

The past is a gaping hole. You try to run from it, but the more you run, the deeper, more terrible it grows behind you, its edges yawning at your heels.

I was hurt. My crime, what I had done was like a hungry pit behind me. I had to run, get as far away from it as possible. But it was still close at my heels. Your only chance is to turn around and face it. But its like looking down into the grave of someone you love or kissing the mouth of a gun, a bullet trembling in its dark nest, ready to blow your head off.

He is dead !

I open my eyes and everything is sliding back into focus.